In 2009 I met a young lady on-line who is openly admitted to me was a failed model and become a dominatrix. Her real name began with J so that is how I will refer to her. We talked by email quite a bit, sometimes on-line and helped out with a bit of SEO/Web Design perhaps too much since in the time I knew her I lost a considerable amount of money helping her out but that is what you do for friends isn’t it? Well, I did.

I thought we were good friends as she would tell me about her boyfriends, bizarre sexual exploits and just regular stuff as well. I liked her and thought she was sort of attractive but I wasn’t and never have been interested in her in a physical sense. Lets be honest here, being with her even in person I did not get an erection. The only time she made me twinge down below a little was when playing OTK games but I think that was more to do with the activity than herself. Not that she was/is unattractive, far from it just not to me as I regarded her as my friend. Did I love her though, yes probably. I cared for her and thought she was a good person who I trusted but that is as far as it went.

Historically speaking I do find trust a difficult thing. I’ve had a few brushes with bad people but looking back at least you knew who they were. The worst sort of person is the one that smiles, pretends to be a friend and then stabs you in the back. I’m afraid I made a dreadful mistake when it came to J as I let her into my life and she turned out to fall into this later category. Its not something I say lightly or to upset anyone, though of course I still remain angry towards her, I think I always will.

For the past decade I’ve suffered from a spinal condition which unfortunately in later years had damaged nerve endings which means they fire off at random sometimes and I’ve become rather more sensitive to touch than I used to be. These sensory changes had caused me great distress and naturally I’ve had to make significant changes in my life to work around them. In terms of the scene I was never a hard player but everything felt much harder than it used to, J  was supportive and even helped me a little with retraining my nerves so to speak in a careful manner. I appreciated her support but more than that, it was the friendship that really mattered to me.

J at the time was a full time dominatrix/fetish model living on her own as her man doesn’t sure about having a partner who was in the sex industry and was taking time out. Very strangely when I visited her when her boyfriend would call she would make excuses for not talking to him whilst I was there which I’m sure looking back was a deliberate attempt to push his buttons to make more likely to move in with her. It worked and her existing friends became excess to her requirements and were put out to pasture in a really cold heartless manner. Not just me but others too!

Things went quiet for a while and it became abundantly clear that my role as a listener wasn’t needed but she wasn’t ever available anymore to be a listener for me. The upshot was she didn’t need me anymore which was really hurtful as my understanding of friendship was it lasts rather being a transient stop gap between boyfriends/partners. J kept making out how incredibly busy she was but unbeknown to her one of her friends was telling something completely different. Obviously values like loyalty, trust and honesty were not very high on her agenda. Its disappointing when people behave like that.

She wanted to do a members site and I was needed again, and surprise surprise she started suddenly having more time and being almost pleasant again. She had already paid me for some software over several months in small instalments after it was completed and she had full access to it to test it. She seem satisfied up to the point of moving in with her boyfriend about 6 months after final instalment when suddenly I was cut out over night without any explanation at all. Eventually I got a text saying she didn’t like it and so I emailed her asking for her bank details to issue a refund – I heard nothing. Eventually, oddly I get an email from her boyfriend saying she didn’t want a refund. It was like having your mum ring up to say you won’t be coming to school today. Even so, I held the money in an account up to July 2011 which was probably 18-24months afterwards but it was never claimed.

I think what was really going on was J wanted a clean break from everyone in her past life, including her own family to make a new life with her partner. That is fine, there are ways and means of doing that without trampling people that once held another in the highest of regards. J chose to trade in all her old friends for new ones as they didn’t fit her new lifestyle and future ambitions.

J influenced me to be more proactive, positive and try to change things at home. This change and the mental anguish she caused almost certainly in an indirect way contributed to my fathers death. When she heard that my father died she actually said via twitter “Good. You deserve it”. What sort of monster would say things like that? It was then I really saw the person inside her, the real monster within and it disgusted me as it would any decent human being.

I hope you understand my anger towards this person and my sometimes erratic tweets partially fuelled emotion of course and sometimes rum.  Knowing her would had driven Jesus to shorts!

Web rings are an old idea that have recently recycled are in use again as a valid SEO tool, though we no longer use the term ‘web ring’.

The whole idea of a web ring is to share traffic amongst those that are already in the ring. It works on the assumption that sites have a common interest and so therefore they attract the same audience. Each member of the ring is linked to neighbour sites via the Ring System Software. Neighbour sites may be randomized every few days and so ensuring a fair distribution of traffic to all members. To move between the sites in the ring, each member displays a unique HTML code segment on their sites; which includes links to Previous and Next sites in the ring. Each member can also list all sites within a particular ring. With this function it becomes possible to reach a number of other sites from any other member.

This type of system encourages increased audience share and flow of visitors between sites. Any web ring though is only as good as its member sites. When joining a ring, look at what other sites are already a member. Ideally, you want to join a ring whose sites in their own right attract hits and doesn’t just purely rely on the ring to generate its business. Web Rings do provide significant traffic, though they should only form apart of your promotional strategy. All those are after all, is having a number of web sites that you either own or are similar audience demographic that are linked together.

I don’t know if there are any ring providers left. When I ran the femmeforce web ring with help from a very nice american domme (wink) it was first hosted on webring.org before moving to yahoo (they purchased webring.org) and finally I moved it to ringsurf. Femmeforce really became sinsearch, the directory site.